


Hope

by youarethelight



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post 4.12 "Hot Potato Soup", Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youarethelight/pseuds/youarethelight
Summary: "Even throughout our friendship all those years, I was always the pessimistic one of both us both. You always had so much to give and made me feel that I shouldn't give up."  A moment between Fitzsimmons post 4.12 "Hot Potato Soup".





	

The base is quiet. The only sound radiating off the walls are the reverberations of her footsteps as Jemma walks towards her bunk. She allows her feet to carry her, too tired from the day to think about how she's getting where she wants to be.

Once reaching her bunk door she quietly opens the handle and walks inside. The door clicks shut and she turns around, taking in the sight before her.

Fitz is sat with his back to her, his head turned to the side slightly so she can make out his profile. He doesn't seem to hear her come in, his eyes focusing on the window in front of him.

She can almost hear his heart through the silence. The echo of its beating is like a ticking clock, heavy against her ears. She can sense it's sporadic, a heavy struggle, beating against his ribcage. 

Earlier today she had placed her hand over his chest and felt it pounding, the rhythm distorted and out of sync. It was if her hand was pulsating from the feel of it, his heart aching to break free and place itself in her palm. She had the urge to reach out at this current moment. To touch him. To lay a hand over him again.

She stops herself. Instead opting to view him through the shadows for a few moments longer, watching his figure illuminate through the darkness as the moonlight spills though the window. His face is etched with so much pain that it makes her feel heavy. It's like a weight has been dropped on her back and something is forcing her to carry it for miles. 

They’d always had a close connection, could always sense when the other was in pain. But it also went beyond that. They were inseparable. Two halves of one whole. It was the best feeling in the world.

But also, the worst. 

Because his pain was her pain. Her pain was his. 

She felt everything. 

She looked at him now and felt the whole world swallowing her whole. The night sky wrapping her in a dark blanket and suffocating her. 

And that blanket was his suffering.

And it was also hers too.

He looks up at moment. His blue eyes mocking the darkness that surrounds him and they're brighter than the moon that's starting to seep behind the clouds. It's almost cruel, how his eyes can look so pure and bright in the shadow. It's how Jemma views Fitz. Her light in this dark world.

Her feet leaves the ground before she can stop herself as she moves over to him, the bed shifting as she sits next to him. His hand lay still on his knee and she places her palm on top of his. His hand is cold in comparison to her warmth. She smiles fondly, thinking about that night and her cold hands which he warmed in many ways. She felt it was time to return the favour and she cups his hand more firmly, letting her heat wash over him. 

His uneven breathing is heavy next to her ears, making her hair blow gently across her face.

Letting her fingers trace nonsense patterns on his wrist she lay her head on his shoulder. His breathing starts to calm and she feels him inhale deeply, his eyes closing as he lets himself sink into her touch, laying his head on top of hers.

“So, how was your day?” he says, trying to make a joke but it doesn’t quite sound right.

She matches his tone when she responds. “Well, I spent most of it worrying about my boyfriend. You see, it’s been a tough day for him.”

He lifts his head and smiles at her, his eyes genuine and his cheeks flushed. He still blushes sometimes when she refers to him as her boyfriend and she thinks it’s the most adorable thing in the world.

He removes his hand from beneath hers and twines their fingers together. “Thank you,” he says.

“For what?”

“For just …. Being you.”

After that sentiment, there are no words spoken between them for a few moments. Their eyes are dancing with flames as they stare at each other. Jemma never saw the fire until she met Fitz. It scared her sometimes, the burning blazes. But deep within the fire, there were calm blue waters and they were so mesmerising she could never look away. 

“What did I do?”

“You just … never give up on me, do you?”

She laughs then but not in a mocking tone. 

“You always believe in me,” he says, gripping their joined hands more tightly. “The reason I didn’t put up a firewall is not because of me –“

“Fitz, you don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” He shakes his head. “You said that I’m caring and open and loyal but I wouldn’t be half the man you think I am if it wasn’t for you.”

"Fitz, you've done plently," she states. "You dove through a hole in the universe for me."

"Yes, but -"

"No 'buts'," she says sternly. "You are such a good man who has gone above and beyond for the people who care about him. You've risked your life for me over and over again and if people cannot see your worth then that's their loss."

She doesn't mention it outright but by the look on his face she can tell he understands the 'people' she is referring to. "I can't imagine my life without you. Without knowing you. Your wit, your homour, your brain ... Even knowing some of your idiotic experiments back in the Academy -"

"- Excuse me, idiotic? -"

"- I seem to recall a certain someone losing their eyebrows -"

" - I didn't lose them, they were singed -"

"- You tried drawing them back on with permanent marker -"

"- What about you with your dead cat? -"

"The point is," she says loudly to break the bickering, "is that, throughout everything, I would take the good, the bad and the quiet, pasty and handsome any day."

He lifts his free hand to scratch at his cheek in embarrassment but laughs none-the-less. "I think you're missing my point."

"No, Fitz. I'm not. Your father - " (she decides to dive into the deep end) "may have not seen it but I do. Every day."

"You know why I love you, Jemma? Because you say things like this." He removes his hand from his cheek and pulls her lips to his in a fierce kiss. He pulls away after a few moments, leaving her panting, her breaths shallow and husky. "You're amazing," he carries on, ignoring the flush creeping across her as her chest rises and falls unsteadily. "And I'm not saying this to make myself seem lesser of a person. I'm saying it because it's true. Pastiness and handsomeness aside, I'm not the same person I was when I joined the Academy. I've changed. You've changed."

"Change is inevitable -"

"Exactly. But I wouldn't be the person I am today without you."

She opens her mouth to interject but he carries on, “- Sometimes it’s hard to do what we do – Shield – our lives – without giving up hope. Every day our friends are either missing or possibly dead and it's just .... hard."

"I know," she says soothingly, rubbing his hand with her thumb.

He takes another breath, seeming to want to open up to her in this safe space they've built. "Growing up, my mum did the best she could but I lost hope every day. Before .... and after my dad left." He glances over to the nightstand where the photo of his mum is propped up against the lamp. 

She notices his wandering eyes and rubs his arm gently. "It must have been hard for you."

"You saw how I was when I first joined the Academy? Shy, anxious - " He pauses for a moment and then continues after a brief thought. "Even throughout our friendship all those years, I was always the pessimistic one of both us both. You always had so much to give and made me feel that I shouldn't give up."

"You've given me plenty of hope."

"Don't you see, Jemma? Any hope that I had was because of you. I told you once that I couldn't imagine my world without you in it and I think about that any time i start to lose hope. I could never give up trying to save you ... Protect you." He moves closer to her and uses his free hand to smooth her hair. “You’re my hope."

Her vision blurs as tears well in her eyes. His fingers slowly caress her cheek and she leans into his palm. He smiles at her then. The constellations in his eyes beaming and her chest hurts because his smile is so perfect to her that it would even defy the stars, the universe itself would not be able to match the beauty she saw within him.

“You’re such a sap,” she says laughing as their foreheads close together.

“A romantic sap,” he laughs too.

She rolls her eyes but places her hand on his cheek. “I love you. And what I said before – “ she lifts her head to look him in eye “- about talking to me about things. I want you to know I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know.”

“I know things with your –“ she hesitates briefly, “- dad are complicated but you can always talk to me.”

She uses her hand to trace a circle over his top lip. “Always.”

“I know,” he silences her then by placing a soft kiss on her lips. It’s warm and comforting and tastes of pretzels and so very Fitz that she sighs into his mouth.

When he breaks away she leans into him again, not wanting to part, wanting to erase all space that exists between them. Space was always overrated anyway. 

He takes a deep breath. “I know you want to talk and I want to tell you how I’m feeling –“

“Sssh,” she whispers, placing two fingers delicately over his lips.

“But I thought- “he mumbles through her fingers.

She cuts him off then by removing her fingers and replacing them with her lips. There would be plenty of time for words. Right now, with their hands intertwined, their kisses soft and comforting and their heartbeats now matching each other’s rhythms, this was the only conversation they needed.

Maybe, they could continue to find hope within in this world. As long as they were together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fitzsimmons fic and my first fic in like... forever. It hasn't been beta-d as I'm new to this so bear with me. Apologies if there are any errors. I'm also terrible at titles so this is what you've got :)


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